Leo 20° (August 11)

What to do: Send Jarboe a check. Update the Sponsors and Sparklerson the website. Make some noise about Rachelle Garniez. Pinpoint ten people from whom I need things per day. Still grab Migguel and Molly info. Print out Missionary Sponsor Packets.Circulate the Baie info to givers. Set up an Afterglow One Hundred Page.Start the AFIG praise machine—three a day perhaps? Catch up on my In/Out and PC docs. You don’t necessarily need to know what that means. I do. Get some art work to JCM. Deposit checks in Provincetown.Maybe I can touch base with the lady on the IG front in any case. I think that’s sort of enough for now don’t you? These may all seem like small things but really they’re not. I’m going to spend the next hour working on som HA books and then I’ll come back to you. Print, sign and scan Molly and Kareem contracts. Go through my brown notebook from the boat and get more pleas out to more peeps. Including Eric Borgand the Stowaway guys. Also we neeed to post about a fish tank. There is such a growing list of things to do. No sooner do I think of something that needs doing, sometimes, that/when it vanishes from my mind (I cannot make the sentence structure happen). Anyway it is Sunday and I will try to set things up for the week. Ah I also have to get some information to press including Cape Cod Times, Banner, Provincetown Magazine.

Here some thoughts to put forth along with the press releases that are going out: Beyond the cut and dry Release and the Roster, here are my ever-evolving thoughts on the Afterglow Festival and the general gist of things I would discuss with a journalist. Perhaps if there were to be a story on our organization in advance of covering the festival itself? Probably a lot to ask but perhaps there is a way to weave some of this in. Anyway….

I would love to talk about the mission and what it takes to present mainly unknown artists year on year in an increasingly gentrified environment, non-profit, when so many sponsors have moved on to more affordable pastures to be replaced by lots of rich and famous absentee folks whom you’d think would be so giving but arent. And how that only strengthens our organization’s resolve to preserve Provincetown’s legacy as an incubator for progressive non-commercial talent, emerging, experimenting and forever on the fringe in a world of famous TV drag and Broadway stars in a town where even stage space is real estate.

And it’s not just about getting a bit of deserved credit. It is the fact that people (audiences) need to understand that (our) history. That before we brought such talent to town—we always know who is on the brink!—and drove these artists into Provincetown’s consciousness, the audience turn out for these artists’ shows was pretty meagre. But we can’t bring artists back for more than a few seasons because that’s not the mission. Sure a few can cycle back after a while as a sort of guest star. But mainly we are always presenting NEW talent. So that means audiences have to trust our curation and not rely on knowing the artists work already. This is a challenge especially in Provincetown. But Provincetown was always the place (until relatively recently) where genius weirdo talent could find a place and an audience and stretch and grow and expand audience’s minds in the process of entertaining them. This is what Afterglow is trying to keep alive. This is the kind of story I would love to see written by a home paper if ever possible.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 19° (August 10)

Awoke from a dream about the Olsen Twins. They were landing a helicopter onto a plane that we were traveling in. They looked old and terrible and one of them (Mary Kate I think) was binging on licorice. Today will not be a good day. Yesterday was too frought for that. More car trouble. More professional impasses. More fundraising pleas falling on deaf ears. There is no time for joy it seems. And my other dream was me looking for a car I parked somewhere and wondering if it got towed. That happened once in real life back in the very early nineties when I went to visit Dean Niarkis at his apartment somewhere in the twenties. I had parked my car and slept over and in the morning I went looking for it and couldn’t find it—I suppose I didn’t remember where I had put it. I was so desperate looking for probably a full hour and then, not giving up, I finally found it. Anyway even though the title of today’s posting is slightly rosier sounding it is a total lie. Things are super shitty right now and no matter what I attempt in hopes of reversing the fact it just leads to more problems and psychological warfare. Anyway I’m still have fever dreams and I’m still trying to feel physically better. I have thirty days now until festival eve and I am determined not only to enjoy the last vestiges of summer, which really lasts a good long time after the fact. And I have to look at these darker hours this week as a way of touching a certain kind of rock bottom from which we can rise.

Happily things did turn around and we did some emotional housework and then went for a second sushi of the week (don’t judge). The weather was changing, the oppressive heat being sent out to sea, as winds and clouds from the east swept over us, plunging the temperature to a tolerable level. We shared a bottle of rosé bought from the shops in overcrowded Wellfleet and then still had a little Chinon to take to bed with us. I am urging someone to watch Years And Years somewhat against her will. Yes, the subject matter is really scary; however the product is such top quality and the acting/ensemble superb. Belfast is on my mind today—I do love Maine so very much. But I have to stop my real-estate porn addiction because it doesn’t keep me in the now which is where I want and need to be. This should be an interesting month as I allow the intermittent fasting thing to take hold while I make the beach an everyday thing and go off any and all sauce for the duration. With so much holiday fun this summer already under my belt I don’t really expect this to be much of a challenge. And anyway I have to be all foward movement. It’s a psychological thing. I almost want to be awake as much as possible. Why is that? I’m predicting I will live until eight-four. Is that weird to say? I just have a vibe.

I have to clear out my brain and get my psychic self buzzing. That’s what these daily summits will be all about. We have to create our own excitement. And part of that is also clearing away the cobwebs of past negativity and dysfunction and, yes, destruction. I for one have never been perfect (I know that might come as a shock) and I have behaved badly in my life but it has never really, at the core, been anything but beating myself up, whether I’ve done it privately or in public. I want to fall back in love with writing again. This is one of my goals for the coming year. I’m prolific I know but I have to be a bit more purposeful. I need to find an almost physiological focus, a literal unscrambling of my brains. There is something about me always that feels as if I’ve been shaken by a giant babysitter. I sent a note to JCM asking if he would give a little shout here and there for the Afterglow Festival and he wrote back in gleeful affirmation. I’m so grateful for this kindness. I really am counting my blessings and friends as one.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 18° (August 9)

I am playing final catch-up today. I will find out what the tide chart says. Perhaps it might be a good day to go into town and reconnect with the community on some level. We could go to Hatches at five then into town by seven and maybe grab a snack at eight or nine, just take our chances, or put our name down. Maybe drop a whole bunch of clothes off at Ruthie’s on the way. I will book Seth’s ferries; and I did reach out to Ptown Bikes. I might as well also mention something to Mac’s and Mercedesjust to keep those spirits bright. This weekend must be completely dedicated to focus on new, mainly missionary sponsors of the Afterglow Festival and getting things in print. I also need to drag Migguel’s tech info into a file. I also need to put the team together for the Joe’s Pub shows and thus write Ben. Did that. Tried to work together on the book proposal but it soon devolved into argument or rather I had thoughts that I wasn’t allowed to express. More bottling up. More silent treatment. And then the explosion. They typical pattern. I have to get out of this cycle for myself and for the betterment of all those around me. I surely cannot keep going along this path. It was a very stressful day all in all. I’m not sure where this stress stems from. But I know it is going to get worse before it gets better.

I tried to defuse the energy by going out to the bank and to pick up a nice wine. It is so hot today, I really want some cold rosé to start. It was the wrong bank, the tire sign in the car went off. I went to find a gas station to fill it but the only one between there and home had an air machine which was out of order. Made chicken and bok choy. It was a super tense night. I wrote this today:

The Afterglow Festival needs your support. Celebrating our ninth year we have never been so challenged by rising costs (of everything) in the face of so many Sponsors ($1K+ donors) and Sparklers ($100+) no longer affording to live or visit here as we continue our mission to bring new and emerging artists (with whom Provincetown audiences are not as yet familiar). Our mission is to preserve Ptown’s legacy as a century-old incubator for progressive theater and live performance and to provide emerging and experimenting artists sacred stage space, here, in the birthplace of modern American theater. Provincetown audiences probably first saw many of their now favorite performers at the Afteglow Festival. So you have to trust our curation. Don’t take for granted that this festival will always exist because it won’t without your help. In return for being a Sponsor or a Sparkler we give you so much—full passes, pairs of half-price tickets (depending on your level of support), dinners with our aritsts and supporters. And if you’re a business, we drive our audiences to your establisments, advertising on our website and promoting you through social media. And you still write it all off. So as the price of doing this rises AND we continue our mission to present you future favorite artists you’ve probably not yet heard of, we need your tax-deductible dollars to make it work. And to make Afterglow Festival week the funnest, most exciting and inspiring week of (it will still be) summer. We don’t have a lot of wo/man power (basically we are a two-person operation). So I myself am often very forward (read: pushy) but I’ve learned there is no other way to do this. AND AND AND You do NOT have to live in Provincetown or attend the festival to help. Friends who Sponsor or Sparkler will have their benefits payed forward to students and seniors and anyone struggling who otherwise couldn’t attend the festival. We want audience for our artists! We want to continue to afford to travel, lodge, feed and pay our artists to come to Provincetown which is the spiritual home and birth place of modern American theater and live performance. So as hard as it is to doorstop people for their sponsorship I can’t afford to be that delicate (I’ve tried—it doesn’t work) I have to swallow ego and pride and go for the jugular here. We need your support in any form and any amount you are willing to give it. You don’t want to donate?—that’s fine. Then please buy some full-price tickets. Our artists/shows (as everyone will tell you) are excellent and ground-breaking and molecule rearranging. Again, how many performing artists that you now count among your favorites did you first see at Afterglow? We are a month out from the Ninth Annual Afterglow Festival and we still have a goodly amount of funds to raise to break even. If you can help please do. And write it off! Glowingly yours, Q

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 17° (August 8)

Emerging from the fog. I have what we call round these parts the “fou-fous”; (I caught some kind of something that my body is trying to rid itself of by way of sweating). A surplus of things is occuring to me. I need to run down the list of existing sponsors and send them the party invite. I also need to go for the jugs with getting “the persuadeables” (sorry) to donate. Scallops and leeks for dinner tonight. I need to fill in with more rerun material:

Why do I do what it is I do in regard to the half of each year, I spend, putting together performing arts festivals and series. Well, the simple answer is that Ed Sullivan and I share more than a birthday. Like Ed, I was a journalist from the age of 22 to about 40. IN fact the main reason I thought to adopt the pseudonym of Quinn Cox was because I wanted to keep my journalistic world—editors and publishers and the subjects I wrote about—separate from what might or not be a success as an astrological duo which has affectionately come to be known as Starsky + Cox. But you see paradoxes began to spring up. Like my Libran brother Oscar Wilde said, and I paraphrase because I’m too lazy to look this shit up: Give a man a mask and he’ll reveal his truths to you. Okay I’m going to look it up and see how close I got. What he actually said was: “Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth.” Which is much simpler and better but I was close.

People do not know me and that’s been okay. I think I’m getting ready to reveal myself in teaspoonfuls. The fact is that back around 2005 I thought Stella and I needed to take to a stage, something we had only done together, rarely, in acting classes where, at HB Studios, we were labelled “the Lunts” which, I won’t lie, I loved. I had a sort of rock-bottom epiphany where I thought, hang on, our book Sextrology came out last year and it has been a success, so we should take to the stage and somehow combine comedy and astrology with some music thrown in. At a place called (under) Elmo in Chelsea, which one tried to convince oneself was a boutique version of Fez under Time Cafe which had recently closed down, we launched our first “Cosmic Cabaret” to a full house of wonderful people we knew personally and periferally. Lots of fashion people—Zaldy and Ruben and Isabel Toledo and John Bartlett—as opposed to performer folks. And, I have to say, after another decade or so “being” with performer folk, I much prefer the people in the fashion and design world, despite the fact I was so utterly convinced, in 2005, that I wanted to stop hanging around with fashion folks whom I did at the time find fatuous and enter the “real” world of performing artists who were down, dirty, honest and true.

Performing artists, who had been down, dirty, honesty and true for the whole time I dipped in and out of their circles, for the past 20 years since I made my way to NYC, but when, in 2006, I began to seek their company, they were on their last gasp of genuine experience. Now, first, let me say, there is no downtown. And I say this as both a journalist and a downtown denizen who more dabbles in performance. I have said this for a decade now: Round about 2007, “downtown artists” began emulating some hybrid breed of Upper East Side Socialite and opera, indie-movie and/or rock star. Quite a leap, I know; but one felt, downtown, that one should speak in a mid-Atlantic accent previously reserved for Rosiland Russell and garb oneself from head to toe in outfits that were spontaneously ready to pass, if pressured, at a Met or Whitney Event.

Suddenly the creme de la creme of the downtown scene used words like creme de la creme. Though they might still live in apartments where the bath tub was recently or still, in the kitchen, they thought they should no longer have to pay for meals or makeup or plastic surgery because they were iconic, and they were. Some still are although that particular brand of enchantment is wearing off and, dare I say, thin.

And I started to miss my friends that worked at magazines that no longer existed. I started to miss the art directors and fellow writers, like myself, who live such solitary lives that it takes a proper poking or, at the very least, a more gregarious partner to stap you into interaction. But what I missed most about living life as a more anonymous character was the ability to move on a dime, to travel, undetected, without needing to be any one place on any certain date….

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 16° (August 7)

Pesto for dinner tonight. S. says she has another bottle of wine stashed in the pantry. That’s good. Raids in Mississippi. This country is pretty ill. I don’t know how to process a lot of what is happening right now. My poor body feels as if it’s been through the total ringer. Oh well I just have to go with it. I’m going to binge watch Years and Years, Big Little Lies, Sex Education, Baskets and watch a slew of mivies on top of it all. I’m vocused on intermittent fasting—twelve noon to eight in the evening. I’m reordering pills and checking on car repairs. I’m going through the list of outstanding donors. I’m making as much progress as I can with my writing. I’m simply doing the best I can. But here is another rerun of things I’ve written in the past to make this process easier today:

As we often are, we were approached by an event planner to do readings for guest at a private party. But there was something mysterious about this whole affair as the planner didn’t seem to be someone who threw a lot of parties, and we came to learn she worked for just a few clients helping them with their private and corporate events which kept her busy. This event was to be at a private home in Rhode Island and we took it as an opportunity to see a new part of New England. Only was there did we realize the island was where much of Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom was filmed. So we drove around to visit location spots, most notably, the “cove” of the place that serves as the film’s title.

The party itself only had about forty people in attendance but it was pretty elaborate and the grounds on which it was held, a private home on the water with multiple acres and buildings, was something the likes of which I’ve never seen; and I’ve spent a lot of time around rich people. We were set up in a sort of tower structure from which we could look down on the partygoers whom one couldn’t help imagine lived very privileged lives. One never knows exactly on which side of the political equation people might be in this position but, we were in short order led to assume that these people here assembled were on the right side of politics and history. How did we know this? Because they were all incredibly nice and unassuming people. In a world where the biblical adage that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven often rings so true, this party of people was to prove twrong that saying.

We had no idea the name of the hosts all the while we were at the party. Only by doing a bit of Google detective work the next day were our assumtions corrobarated. The host of the party was indeed a well-known, celebrated, very wealthy man of the Warren Buffet school of philanthropy where he was determined to give a great deal of his wealth away and to put it in service of others. We’ve always said that when it comes to private clients the best people in the world seem to find us and to be genuintely interested in raising their consciousness, making it a joy to help them in that aim. What we realize is that the same holds true for those who come to hire us for events. In either case we have never solicited interest but allow word of mouth and, I’d like to say, some good karma, make the referrals for us.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 15° (August 6)

Getting my brain around a timeline today. We will make salmon with salad and stewed tomatoes and avocado for dinner tonight with some wine from the Orleans shops. I spent the day mostly in bed feeling very weird and sweaty. The fou-fous are now in full force. This is proving to be the kind of week you wanted to be a period of immediate snap back; but instead it has been a one of somewhat dysfunctional aftermath. It happens. There is no real crime in it and I can only do as much as I can do. I did have some good time alone to myself and I did manage to get a few things done, but today is going to have to be a something of a rerun. So here is something I’ve written in the past:

I love Julia Child. Who doesn’t, I know, but she has always held a special fascination for me. When I was a waiter in 1986 at the Harvest in Harvard Square, she and her husband Paul would come in for lunch. You would here “Bonjour Roger” in that booming unmistakeable tenor as she greeted the tiny alcoholic nicotine sodden  maitre d’ whose name she properly prounced in French, ro-jay. Paul, a curled shrimp of a man who had already suffered his series of small strokes, followed hist towering wife into the dining room where she would always order the same thing: a burger, rare, no bun. She is a Leo and I’ve often remarked on the similarity between her choice of lunch and the bloody meat one would throw into a lion cage.

Before the book and movies about her during the last decades, I always thought she would make a great subject for a work of art. I won’t go any further into that thought lest I actually end up pursuing this instinct myself. At the very least I think she and her husband would make great costumes for Stella and me, come Halloween. But, obviously, there’s more to it. Here was a couple who worked together (even though you didn’t know he was behind the scenes), who had no kids and were rather late bloomers. They were also obsessed with France and had an affinity for Cambridge, Massachusetts and Maine. All of this I can relate to.

She described herself “as the cat looking at the king” when she was a student of Le Cordon Bleu—what can be more Leo an expression than that. And what person from any other sign could turn what was for her a personal passion into an entire movement, changing the way Americans cooked, forever. What other sign could see a chef superstar embodied in the form of a fifties something woman. I’m happy I had the few opportunities I did to wait on Mrs. Child whose name couldn’t be more fitting for someone who lived life with a childlike exuberance and who gave so much to the world.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 14° (August 5)

Went to get my bank balance and not even a minute into driving down the highway my hood flew up and crashed my windshield. I had to pull in to the nearest drive to turn around. In the moment it didn’t have that great an effect on me but, writing this later in retrospect, I can tell you that I will be altered for days to come. I had this dream I was chatting with Dave who had a kid on the Cape and we were drinking Jameson. Mine were sort of fever dreams. And I fell asleep midday, too, when S. went into Provincetown to run some errands and got some checks from the post office which was somewhat inspiring. That letter came from Mass MoCA and I phoned them and gave their voicemails an earful. Some checks came in too, but it just isn’t enough this year, which is going to be the grandest of struggles. I am definitely rejigging my thinking on all of that. The good news is I won’t need to find another venue for next year which is a total god send. I am really coming down to the wire once again. And the trip away doesn’t even feel like a dream I had but rather something which didn’t happen at all. Sometimes going away makes the reality of being back in one’s mundane life all the more challenging and dispiriting. The fact is that this place in which I live is filled with rich offspring, mainly, of parents who wanted to see their delicate children set up in a lifestyle where they felt protected (and also out of parental hair). There are enough of these people to populate small Provincetown. And then add in the recovery population and what do you have? Queer, exiled, trust-funded, self-indulgent, indolent creatures who can fill their days with meetings, community theater auditions, and renting out bits of the houses that were bought for them. And yet they will complain about their lives ad nauseum. On color in my new leaf is not to be friends with anyone who has never worked a day in their life.

I have also decided to make other changes. For one, I have a so-called good friend who I caught in a lie. They said they changed their email address (when they hadn’t) as a cover up for not writing me back on certain topics, namely, continue to give to my charitable arts foundation. I didn’t really want to believe that instead of just telling me honestly to my face that they made up a labyrinthian lie; but in the time since I have realized that they are quite the pathological liar and has even asked us to lie for them. They never did change their email (and not receive my messages) because they still/again/now write to us from it. So, in review of their character, I have decided to let the friendship go. The thing is that they will barely notice. It will probably be years before they realize I haven’t been in touch. But this is the sort of thing that occurs to someone like me who, having grown up with malignant narcissists, attracts them, mainly, in relationship as an adult. At this point it is my own fault not to do something about it.

Since nobody ever reads this, and given the fact I’m going through one of the most challenging periods of my life, I’m not going to hold back. I have been used up like an old wash rag and by those who I would have never thought capable of doing so. I have no choice but to completely surrender to what’s happening and not fight any more. I will find a way to keep my location stable for the next year but I will have to make a number of changes and figure out a path through and then out. All best laid plans are now completely blowing up in my face and I have no choice but to give in. I will not fight anymore. There is no point. People do not see things from my perspective and I cannot make them do so. I am basically unable to trust anyone at this point and so I have to focus somehow on trusting myself all the more. I have no family to speak of and, having been in a couple for so long, any friends I have are couple friends; and in those instances, the women become closer and closer as the men become purely periferal. Well I’m not longer taking the tack that this is happening to me.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 13° (August 4)

We took the one o’clock ferry from the dock in Boston and settled in. I decided I would do something I never do which was to have a hot dog and some beer on the boat. It is the end of holiday officially after all and when I get back on the Cape I will also get back on my diet…with a few days transition to drink the lovely wine I’ve brought with me. Still, the amount of work and requisite focus I need to do it is going to require a forgoing of all such earthy delights as one allows during off times. We got to the bus easily although my bags are so heavy and the driver was terrible; in fact, he seemed to want to be a bit reckless such that the passengers flung about. And (this makes no sense) there are of course no seat belts on that wonky local bus. We got home in one piece in any case and S. went to town to pick up some sushi. Neither one of us want to cook. I got most of my unpacking accomplished. I know I’ve wrenched my back and I also know that, now that I can get sick, I will get sick, having nursed a bad cold the whole time I was away. I’m also aware that I’m about to get very down (depressed); the truth is I hate being here. Even though it’s so-called paradise and there is supposedly every reason in the world to love being in so idyllic a setting, the truth is that this is still this country which is frought with hate and rage and I feel sick when I am here. At this point in my life I need to make some real effort toward exit strategy, which is going to entail figuring out a way to be autonomous with my work. I don’t care if one definition of being insane is feeling everyone else is—everyone else is. With really no exceptions. We live in a venal country where the topic of money is frontloaded in every situation and robs us of life. Right now I’m tempted to Google: how to join a monastery and disappear and never be heard from again.

Years ago, when we first moved to Provincetown, a friend with three initials came to visit us. This sycophantic new musical friend whose initials are B. H. was already all over us but when he realized we had “cool” or “fame-ish” friends he was so sickeningly blatant in his attempts to stepping stone us to them. Well twelve years later, guess what? It worked. And it’s only one example of this. And who is to blame? The narcissist who needs this kind of blatant worship or the sycophant who will throw their whole self at people for their ironic own gain. I want to part of any of this equation. The first time B.H. met our friend he offered them cocaine. Our friend was so appalled and grossed out by the guy. Then a few years later B.H. offered our friend heroin and they took it. Thank god that didn’t turn into a drug problem and instead just an anecdote in a performance; but the fact remains that I am certainly not friends myself with B.H. for many reasons, including not just this on incident of drug pushing, nor am I really that close with my friend for whom I’ve lost a great deal of respect. We are always the conduit (read stepping stone) and we are always the ones who are so easily discarded; and I have struggled with the pain of this for a very long time. But I have to say it no longer has an emotional hold on me. I am following the signs and they keep leading me to a very definitive off-ramp.

I need to let go of the Brian situation too. I have tried for months and months to collaborate with him but it has been a total joke. I will find out too that the MassMoCA people have sent me a letter. They will be getting one in return. That S.K. character is one of the world’s worst I’ve ever encountered in all my many years producing shows. I definitely need to stick to the University circuit, I think, because that’s where the money is. I know that’s what I will need to do this coming year as well. I can hire a surrogate to intro the shows in Boston, maybe someone younger and cooler than myself at this point anyway. Why not hire an assistant artistic director, someone (anyone) who can be my proxy. I need to start thinking about myself and my needs. I am always putting others first and it hasn’t much contributed to my own well-being. People (artists especially) have come to take advantage of the fact. Once upon a time people were so grateful for the opportunity to perform in Provincetown and thought it amazing how much we offered them. Now that same offer is seemed like the least one can do by a new generation of artist-ingrates. Sorry but there it is. I am going to have to figure out a plan for more solo success here. I cannot rely on everything being a shared experience. I have completely cut myself off from my own singular path in an effort to frontload shared experience.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 12° (August 3)

Only slept from ten to two then I was up until five. S. went out to grab some coffees while I did a little writing. Then again for some overnight oats and a salad we could have at break time, as we have two clients (among our faves) today. I’m still in something of a fog and am feeling that same old anxiety I feel in my “real life”returning. I know there is a way to combat it and I will do so for sure. It will take today and tomorrow to get my brain completely around what is required over the next five weeks. I’m not in terrible shape but I could be in a much better position. It really has a lot to do with coordination or even, you might say, choreography. I am on my way. I just need some rest. When the first appointment leaves I will have a little of that corn and cabbage salad. Then when the second appointment is through we will underachieve and walk over to Select and have some oysters and crudo and cauliflower and grilled octopus and beet salad with some nice wine and then go for a little walk—to Eataly for some stuff to have in the room this evening. I will be asleep before long and then awake again at 11am and stay up until 3—this jet lag is really kicking my butt right now.

Tomorrow I will wake early and we will go to Flour for breakfast and I’ll continue to Insta on my private but also get the ball rolling on the festival social media as well. There are a great many moving parts as I keep saying but I have to project such a positive attitude now if we are going to bring this baby home. And home we shall bring it. I will take a little walk and the go back to Eataly and get some of that pricey white La Stoppa. It will be a transition (and that means TV) night. We might think about getting a car from Ptown but if not the bus will surely do I need to get four singles for that. S. came back from her appointment and I was all about the Afterglow (and still am). I shoved all my stuff into suitcases which wasn’t the easiest thing to do in the end; and took a shower and just put my dirty clothes back on. We left the room and went down for what was a bit of an emotional goodbye to Arthur. He has been such a bright light in my life for so long now it is hard to imagine being at the Eliot without him. S. has his information and I’m sure we’ll stay in touch. I did grab his hands and say “son we will miss you” and I think he understand fully the depth of feeling in this expression. All the usual P-town fixtures are pretty much null to me at this point. That DD is a thief and so blatant a one I refuse to disguise his name here. Karmically, I can and will do nothing, and I feel such compassion because I know it will not end well for him. I feel that way about EM too. And to a lesser degree LR. These people are all horrible and that is the truth. And so-called best friends have been demoted to vague aquaintances. I’m sick to death of the sycophants. I have to stop focusing on the detractors and look to those who celebrate. I will need to assume that resonance. It is the truth. I am among the brightest lights for a reason. Those who don’t appreciate me cannot be allowed access to me; that has been my fatal flaw—trying to be liked—which was set up by dynamics in my family, namely, with my tyrrannical father and sister who is the worse person on the planet and little wonder shares the same birthday with the imposter preseident.  The kind people that I meet, the political journalists and teachers and chefs and directors react to S. and me the way people should.

I  know that in order to be happy I have to forgo everything. Everyone must go. All the glam and the stuff and the privilege. I have tried to tell the people what and how I feel but my words are lost on them. I will be making a major sacrifice because I will not be the one who ends up with everything. Yet I do have it all. I am not good with glut. I only feel truly myself when in Spartan mode; and because of that I can enjoy all the excess when it is happening. I have to have my “familiars”, my touch stones.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Leo 11° (August 2)

Yesterday does feel like something of a dream having gone into Rome, and hour by car, each, there and back (after doing the same thing the night before to eat at La Pergola (and now this monring we will head into Rome for the third time in a span of thirty-six hours. I don’t know how people feel rested. Well I do, actually. It’s because they don’t really have the same stresses as we do. I’m sure they have their own which are just as real and challenging; and, truly, I don’t want anybody else’s problems but my own really. I could easily never have white wine again, nearly, for the rest of my life. Although the first two whites at La Pergola the other night were probably some of the best wines I have ever had in my entire lifetime. Anyway, the alarm went off. I definitely kept S. up a bit. I tried to go sleep in the salon but when I did so I realized that everyone was still up and I could here J. and others still in the throes of conversation. So it wasn’t really an option. The alarm went off at four and S. was already in the bathroom; then what I thought was a second alarm went off, but it was the crew calling. We finished packing, got a couple Americanos brought up to us; then we were ready to go. J. and N. got up to say goodbye which they really didn’t have to do. Otherwise it was Al, Alex and Paula and the taxi driver packing our bags into the trunk and we were off. It was a shorter drive than suspected this morning and check in was relatively painless. The lounge always makes things easier; however they really weren’t set up and they weren’t in the least apologetic about that. I am not a big BA fan to be honest. I’m on the plane and there is this total blowhard sitting behind me talking none too interesting about gods know what.

The reset needs to be the real point of all of this. I was saying to S. that, in light of the people who now populate my life, I can’t for the life of me understand why I allowed myself to be surrounded by such judgy people in the past. Why would I do that. Both J.D.s fall into this category. Who the fuck are they. I am so done giving a shit about what folks like this feel or do. There are still forty days left until festival and I am determined to bring in a thousand dollars a day. I also need to frontload the work needing doing on the Margie Ella Jacket side of things. I have big fish to fry and I am going to fry it. We are going to create an excellent product. We are going to get this podcast recorded, up and running. If we are indeed in a nearly six weeks scenario, I’m also going to spend the next fornight reducing because who needs all this extra, not I. In a week’s time, too, is the deposition. And I have to make sure that we sail through that without any stress. The people on this plane are talking so loud behind me it’s really getting annoying. I sent Harrison a note this morning asking him to reserve us a table for tonight. I love the way our cozy little world works, I really do. It would be ideal if I could take a little walk this afternoon to clear my head. I will try to make that happen, perhaps, if S. takes a little nap. I could use a little something like that today for sure. The last time I had a moment to stroll around on my own for an hour was in London which was more like half an hour really. We will be solving the living situation soon in any case and I will be able to enjoy some more city time in the coming year. I am capable of pulling out all stops these next several weeks for sure, giving it my all being something I owe to myself really. I’ll never know why certain people stopped donating to the cause. I may never know the reason why. I can only hope that I have other, new, means of making it all come together.

There is this totally annoying family behind me on this plane from Rome to London. They are taking up two full rows, both sides, and they keep changing places and pulling on my seat and then, when there are kids in it, they kick the back of it. I am trying not to lose my cool because that always ends badly but they need to fuck the fuck off. I can only hope they are reading this.

I dream a world and I’m going to make it happen. I am going to be ever more expansive and go for the jugular when it comes to this fundraising jazz. I see no good reason why not to pull out all stops on that score and all the others. We have an opportunity now to make some real magic and I have to use the festival work as a springboard, actually for the larger Glow work. We are met at the exit from the plane by Jenny who looks like what I’d imagine J. will look like in twenty years. She used to work for the airline and knows everybody. Obviously retired now, she plays this kind of role as an expeditor. We really couldn’t have negotiated this transition without her. She powered us through every point and still we had time to hit the lounge for twenty minutes. She has two grown children a teacher and a doctor. She had her gallbladder removed and wishes she hadn’t. She has fairly thinning hair dyed blondy red. She cured herself of a hernia and of acid reflux by doing a daily morning ritual of drinking water and jumping up and down as if on a trampoline. Anyway she took us to another terminal and all the way to the gate where the giant plane was loading with a mass of people. She recognized the voice of the person at the gate and said something to the effect of: Ah, that’s my friend, we are going to go right through. Then she parted the people like the red sea and we sailed through and were one of the first people to board the plane.

The flight was the best ever of our lives probably. The food was great. I watched the same movie over and over—Tolkien—between naps, meals, drinks; and the staff were very kind and there was no amount of snark that can characterize B.A.. We sailed right through customs and passport control, though I barely remember it I was so tired and wined and dined. We called a Lyft and this incredible young Chinese guy showed up with all sorts of paraphenalia in his car along with candies and cookies from his homeland. It was a wonderful ride. Then back at the Eliot, our home away from home, we napped for nearly four hours before going downstairs to Uni for dinner. The only bummer, and it is a miniscule one, is that we were seated at the one table I despise in the restaurant—the one smack against a column with an overhead light that feels a little too much like an interrogation lamp. There was obviously some kind of sports event in town because there were lots of overindulged children in the restaurant—allowed to drum with their chopsticks for instance—so I moved to sit on the banquette with S. and just had cocktails with my tuna tartare (she had salmon sashimi) then we shared brussel sprouts, fried rice with shrimp, wagu dumplings. They brought us himachi and some kind of sorbet-y dessert. And some saki based cocktails. S. had ordered bottle of Riesling but I never even had any. Fell asleep to PBS American Masters about Ursula K. Leguin.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree pointof the Sabian Symbol will be one degree higher than the one listed for today. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 or 6 days per year—so they near but not exactly correlate.

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go!
Copyright 2019 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2019 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox