Capricorn 6° (December 27)

Layed low. Ate at Uni.

Virgo Woman

Virgo with a V: In our book Sextrology the she-Virgo chapter begins “And God created woman.” Drawing on her mutable-earthy Pandora archetype, Virgo woman seems designed to the specifications of someone seeking a lady stacked with feminine assets. In mythology, the cuckolded potter-god Hephaestus/Vulcan (married to Aphrodite/Venus who was getting busy with Ares/Mars while carrying a torch for Adonis) bakes up his own little sex-dolly out of clay, Pandora, with her infamous box. (It was actually a jar, a vessel). And we titled the Virgo woman chapter The Vessel because, like the sign’s Virgin holding that sheaf of grain, intent on separating the wheat (virtue) from chaff (vice), Pandora’s jar was filled with an equal mix of the same stuff. From a patriarchal standpoint, and a misogynist one, woman has been viewed as both a source of pleasure to be penetrated and one of the worlds ills. Mary Magdalene is sinner and saint. She too is the vessel. Especially if one thinks on her as the literal wife of Jesus and potential mother to his children. Blasphemy. She was a sacred harlot, like the Vestal virgins, sex and spirituality going hand in hand (or something in something) as it should. And so, without getting too into it, the Virgo woman personifies the feminine as such: An undulating object of lust who could be ones undoing. The Virgo motto is “I serve” which is misread as submissive or subservient (she can be if it serves her). But like any good master-slave inversion, one typically finds oneself so dependent on the Virgo woman, whether for her love, devotion or mad skills in the sack, that she typically ends up holding all the power. Makes you rethink the image of the Virgin clutching that phallic sheaf in her tight, tender grip. And, blow me down, just look at these brick houses. Claudia Schiffer, Raquel Welch, Naomie Harris, Jaqueline Bisset, Pink, Beyoncé Knowles, Sophia Loren, Salma Hayek, Whitney Cummings, Joey Heatherton, Jennifer Hudson, Ingrid Bergman, Lauren Bacall, Yvonne DeCarlo, Padma Lakshmi, Peggy Lipton, Rachel Ward, Jennifer Tilly, Foxy Brown, Rebecca DeMornay, Jennifer Coolidge, Tuesday Weld, Shannon Elizabeth, Lea Michele, Cameron Diaz, Barbara Bach, Cassandra Peterson, Valerie Perrine, Fay Wray, Frances Farmer, Alotta Fagina (We imagine).

The virgin of Virgo is Kore, the maiden form of Earth mother-goddess Demeter, from whose name the word core is derived, a nod to the planet’s molten, shifting center, its fiery furnace. While Virgo man draws on the archetype of Hephaestus, god of that sizzling forge, Virgo woman personifies, yes, his little dolly, Pandora, meaning “all given”, whom the god gave the best features of all the goddesses, baking her out of clay in his divine kiln—Virgo is the mutable-earth sign, highlighting tangible change. But Demeter herself was also called Pandora, here meaning “all giver.” Virgo woman acts as caretaker, little sister, especially to objects of her desire, playing den mother, a Wendy, to any number of lost, Peter Pan-complexed boys or domineering Peppermint Patties. She leans, learns and models herself on significant others, having her fun, and ultimately forging her own future. On the shadow side, she borrows too directly from others, appropriating their moves to the point of inappropriateness. She tends to secure a mature mate who’ll cherish her and to whose power and protection she is drawn, and from whom she pulls strength to grow and develop her own unique talents, skills and character, which she often then focuses on helping others in turn. Enter Peggy Guggenheim, Mary Shelley, Kitty Carlisle, Agatha Christie, Mother Theresa, Mother Seton, Cass Eliot, Margaret Sanger, Sylvia Fine, Geraldine Ferraro, Nan Goldin, Salma Hayek, Emmy Rossum, Melissa McCarthy, Amy Poehler, Blake Lively, Rosie Perez, Queen Noor, Queen Rania, Sonia Sanchez, Paula Jones, Ségolène Royal, Lea Michele, Joan Jett, Chrissie Hynde, Fionna Apple, Pink.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Capricorn 5° (December 26)

To the Eliot and Stella to the Nutcracker. I saw Brian and Anne, which turned out to be annoyingly unfruitful.

Virgo Man

The move from Leo to Virgo is like a shift in historical consciousness from the divine right of kings to the empowerment of serfs. Virgo’s motto is I serve. In the annals, we saw the absolute power of (Leo) nobility give way to that of the indentured (Virgo), Pride being trumped by Humility—this is mirrored in the rise of allegorical pieces of literature like Everyman, which tackled the dichotomy of virtue and vice, and Dr. Faustus, caught in that same balance between good and evil. The temporal takeaway is that power shifts from crowns to individual human conscience. Take that monarchists. As personifications of these signs, Leo man embodies the golden-boy Sun-king archetype, while Virgo man is a walking-talking morality play, munching on experience and humble pie, embodying that human conscience, whose nature it is to grapple; but, in so doing, to eradicate pride along with every other human vice, digesting experience to extract its every virtue. You won’t see a Virgo man bound into a room unapologetically. He doesn’t have that golden glow of Leo. The sign color of Virgo is silvery grey (Gandalf grey) the result of negotiating a world that can be so black-and-white. He is thoughtful, to a fault, self-effacing, self-examining and often hyper critical. He negotiates his way in the world carefully, and yes, skeptically, but he thereby aims to leave it a better place than he found it. Virgo begins on August 23rd, the festival of Vulcanalia. Vulcan (Greek: Hephaestus, from whose name Faustus might derive) was a disenfranchised “lame” god who channeled the lemons he was given into making lemonade. A smith, a potter, a tinker, an inventor, artisan, artist and, like Faust, an alchemist in all respects. Hephaestus hid himself away, something of a hermit (with that Gandalf wardrobe). Virgo is traditionally ruled by planet Mercury (Greek: Hermes, from whence the term derives)—focus on the work and service at hand, typically making tools and weaponry that would empower the other gods. He forged Zeus’s lightning bolts, for instance, the true power behind the throne. Virgo man, the zodiac’s is likewise a lover of privacy, a symptom, first, of feeling dejected on some level, but ultimately the crucible via which he forges his own path toward success and fulfillment. He will wrestle with his conscience, the true philosopher’s stone, to alchemically transmute his disappointments into opportunities, his wounds into sources of healing and his accumulated woes, source- material, into masterful works of art. Behold the Virgo Everyman of conscience who has sought his separate peace and serenity in his solitude; or as an actor (our best living archetypes!) plays that part to the hilt: Bill Murray, Jimmy Fallon, Luke Wilson, Martin Freeman, Jack Black, Chris Pine, Rupert Grint, Colin Firth, Leonard Cohen, Josh Charles, Armie Hammer, Jason Sudeikis, Adam Sandler, Stephen Fry, Roald Dahl, Louis C.K., Idris Elba, Keanu Reeves, Warren Buffet, Aaron Paul, Alexander Skarsgärd, Richard Gere, Wes Bentley, Oliver Stone, Stephen King, David Copperfield, Moby, Johann Wolfgang Goethe, John Locke, John Cage.

Virgo’s planetary ruler is in dispute. It’s traditional planet is Mercury, which also governs the mutable-air sign of Gemini, the god Mercury (Greek: Hermes) being patron of all sorts of street folk from merchants to thieves, jugglers to magicians, which brings us to the mutable-earth (read: clay) sign of Virgo where it rules alchemists and all the “hermetic” and healing arts. Mercury’s staff, called the Caduceus, is the emblem of the medical profession to this day. Virgo and the 6th astrological house are associated with health, habits and hygiene. But there are those who don’t believe that Mercury actually rules Virgo. Some feel that rulership belongs to Chiron, a minor planet-ette orbiting the Sun between Saturn and Uranus. The notion is that Chiron, discovered in 1977, was once a major planet that got pummeled by asteroids. It thus draws on the archetype of the “wounded healer” in mythology. Chiron was a centaur who wasn’t savage like his fellows, but the opposite, a savior, and he is the father of doctors which were one and the same as magicians, under the grand heading of alchemists. Another theory is that Virgo is ruled by the as yet undiscovered planet Vulcan, which is debatably orbiting between Mercury and the Sun.. Virgo men are menschs but they do tinker—if not nipping and tucking themselves, they may Svengali others, women especially, whom they treat as Pandoras, the first sex doll molded by Hephaestus out of clay. Voila: Alchemical some more Virgo men-schs: Hugh Grant, Elvis Costello, Chris Tucker, Peter Sellers, Tommy Lee Jones, Paolo Coelho, Peter Falk, Bob Newhart, Ben Falcone, Daniel Stern, Adam Sandler, Sam Neill, David Arquette, Mark Harmon, and those who couldn’t leave themselves, let alone others, well, alone: Mickey Rourke, Michael Keaton, Barry Gibb, Billy Ray Cyrus, Eddie Fisher, Michael Jackson, Gene Simmons, Kenny Rogers, Steve Guttenberg, Harry Connick, Jr., Paul Reubens.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Capricorn 4° (December 25)

Christmas at Nancy’s. Light up Santa slippers.

Leo Woman

Artemis, the goddess of the hunt, whom Homer called a “lioness amongst women” is the premier archetype of the Leo woman, one that resonates through mythology, literature and in flesh- and-blood females of the sign. Artemis is goddess of wild creatures; and Leo women are, in some regard, feral females, on the loose, often latch-key children, if not parentless, at an early age. The aptly named Kit (Katharine) in Taming of the Shrew speaks to the heterosexual Leo woman, anyway, seeking to be trumped, domesticated, by the rare man that she doesn’t outshine—the Sun is her ruler. Cue Leo lady Annie Oakley’s refrain to her would-be love in Annie Get Your Gun: “Anything you can do I can do better.” Indeed, Leo women best the best men at their own games. They’re on the hunt for a man who’s tougher, more wild and passionate than they, playing cat and mouse with weaker male specimens. But let’s not bring J. Lo’s Marc Antony into this. Although Cleopatra, with her own Marc Antony, was a living Leo archetype—Cleo just so happens to be a cliché name for a cat. Catherine in Wuthering Heights is another emanation of the feral Leo, whose cosmic soul mate was the wild Heathcliff. No wonder Leo Kate Bush relates to and sings as that character, just as she appears as Artemis on the cover of her record, Hounds of Love. It’s a whisker’s breath from Kate to Tori Amos. And we can name queen Leo superstars all day long, from Lucille Ball (read: ball of light, like the Sun) to Madonna to Julia Child to J.K. Rowling to Coco Chanel to Martha Stewart to Amelia Earhart to Mae West to Jackie O, not to mention such luscious—and they look like lionesses!—Leo ladies like Charlize Theron, Iman, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams, Honor Blackman, Natasha Hensridge, Vivica Fox and, of course, the classic catwomen Halle Berry and Julie Newmar.

Leo woman draws on a secondary, complementary archetype to Artemis (Roman: Diana), which is that of the Goddess of the Hearth, Hestia (Roman:Vesta). The sign of Leo rules the heart; and the Sun, the heart and hearth of the solar system, rules it. Though Leo women can be most predatory in channeling that huntress energy, particularly in public life, fairly stalking their successes;, in private, they take firm hold of the center around which others draw or revolve. What paradoxically connects the seemingly opposite Artemis and Hestia is that they are both protectors—of the wild and of domestic life, respectively. As that “lioness amongst women,” we see in the Leo lion a dual nature of ferocity and maternal affection. Indeed, real lions are matriarchal, females of the species being the prime movers of their prides. And it’s the same with the human variety: Leo men are typically laid back, lovers of lolling about, while Leo women are fiercely energetic self-starters with often gappy toothed, predators’ smiles. Some savage Leo sweethearts include: Anna Paquin, Elizabeth Moss, Madonna, Gillian Anderson, Rose Byrne, Vera Farmiga, Amy Adams, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Lawrence, Sandra Bullock, Kate Beckinsale, Kristin Wiig, Iman, Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Lopez, Lynda Carter, Louise Fletcher, Helen Mirren, Elizabeth Berkley, Taylor Schilling, Yvonne Strahovski.

The sign of the Lioness boasts any number of disarmingly, flakey, kooky, wiggy, ditzy feline females who are really anything but. For Leo woman plays cat and mouse to outmaneuver the rest of us at every turn. The zodiac’s Queen of Hearts has all the right moves on this chessboard of life, and sometimes letting you think she’s a little out to lunch works something like an ambush. Leo ladies of the stage and screen are often typecast in this very role. Think of Gracie Allen, Lucille Ball, Lisa Kudrow, Victoria Jackson, Sally Struthers, Barbara Eden, Madonna, Mila Kunis, Loni Anderson, Melanie Griffith, Elizabeth Berkley, Christine Taylor, Kristin Chenoweth, Connie Stevens, Rosanna Arquette, Debra Messing, Shelly Winters, Jill St. John, Georgia Engel, Alice Ghostley.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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Capricorn 3° (December 24)

Leo Man

In our book Sextrology, the Leo Man chapter is titled The Natural. So many tawny men of the sign are wont to go native, being astrologically designed, like their totem Lion, to easefully roam the great expanses of the planet. They are attracted to cultures and peoples with a primal throb. The lion is born free and stays that way. Like its ruler, the central Sun, the heart-center of the body is governed by the sign of Leo. The beating of the heart is the rhythm of life; and besides boasting many drummers among its number, the sign of Leo breeds men who live life at its own pace or, at least, they believe that they do. For, the zodiac’s king might naturally confuse his own will with that of the divine. He assumes he’s Right. The shadow side of the king, of course, is the tyrant and anyone acquainted with a Leo man has probably seen it creep in. The golden Leo nature boy abhors artifice and is near maniacal in his embracing of authenticity. He is, by nature, skeptical of phonies or over-sophisticates. Whether he possesses the rugged outdoorsyness of Davy Crockett, the pastoral, bare aesthetic of Thomas Eakins, the natural sweepingness of filmmaker John Huston, the arid no-nonsense of Sundance king Robert Redford, the hempish ways of Woody Harrelson, the prairie rattyness of Garrison Keillor, the vegan crunch of Casey Affleck or the going-nativeness of William Clark, Herman Melville, Cartier-Bresson, Lawrence of Arabia or even Ginger Baker, for that matter, Leo men celebrate the beating of creation’s heart and extol our earthly kingdom and mankind in its most noble natural, state. Some other Leo hunks include the “Conans” Jason Momoa and Arnold Schwarzenegger, “Thor” Chris Hemsworth, “Hulk” Eric Bana, and “Avatar” Sam Worthington.

Just the previous sign of Cancer is ruled by the mother-principled Moon, which portrays creation as a nurturing goddess-source from whom all matter springs (cardinal water), august Leo, ruled by the father-principled Sun, sees creation from the view of a distant, fiery sky god (fixed fire) to be revered, if not feared. Leo rules the 5th astrological house, that of co-creation with god, the mantle of which Leo man, the zodiac’s own lion king, willingly dons, embodying entitlement, if not divine right. Let’s just say he assumes authority easily, as author, akin to Arthur, boy-king, like David, taking the central role. The Sun symbol is a dot inside a circle—think Arthur seated center at table. The lion is king… of beasts; David slays Goliath, read: his own giant beastly nature, just as Arthur subdues and civilized the pagan wilds, inside himself. Leo man can be a hot head. There we said it. Little wonder that the shadow side of the sign has spawned those having such dictatorial sway: Napoleon, Mussolini, Castro. But seriously, think of the many tyrannical film directors and kings of that industry, those who will make or break others’ careers: Hitchcock (go ask Tippi), Demille, Kubrick (go ask Shelley), David O. Russell (go ask Lily). Huston, Redford, Cameron, Polanski, Penn, M. Night Shayamalan, Kevin Smith. And then there are Leo actors who play god-complexed egoists with a vengeance: Robert Deniro, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Matt LeBlanc, Andrew Garfield—probably also that ginger cat, Garfield—Kevin Spacey, Billy Bob Thornton, Wesley Snipes, David Duchovny, Adam Samberg, Laurence Fishburn, Sam Elliot, Jean Reno, Kevin McKidd, Jeremy Piven and Steve Martin.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Capricorn 2° (December 23)

Cancer woman’s life journey can be characterized as one long transition from the seeming chaos of her youth toward achievement of her own natural rhythm. Long before Linda Ronstadt marched to the beat of a different drum, Cancer girls have often felt emotionally abandoned at a tender age, echoed in some form of their own self-abandon. It takes time’s ticking tides to emotionally process Cancer woman’s way to a calmer shore—flood myths are endemic to the cosmic energy of the sign. Instinct defines the Cancerian realm, and the lady Moonchild, in particular, develops a gut variety by way of fully embracing any rocky circumstance of her youth; the inevitable embarkation therefrom; any subsequent feelings of being “at sea” along with strong senses of hope and promise; before she can ultimately experience deliverance. Cancer and the Moon rule the 4th astrological house of both the home one comes from and the home one creates for oneself. It is the house of re-creation, which is why one should never give up hope that a Cancer woman will land herself a happy, healthy and emotionally secure existence. In the meantime, it can be quite a shite show. When Neil Young warbled “she’s like a hurricane” one might place bets he had an emotionally loaded Cancerian woman in mind. Jennifer Saunders (Edina Monsoon!), Lindsay Lohan, Carly Simon, Pamela Anderson, Ludivine Sagnier, Courtney Love, Busy Phillips, Sue Lyon, Cyndi Lauper, Penny Arcade, Julianne Hough, Sofia Vergara, Phoebe Legere, Gisele Bündchen, Karen Black, Jerry Hall, Jessica Simpson, Kelly McGillis, Monica Lewinsky, Princess Diana, Imelda Marcos, Leona Helmsley, Lizzy Borden and Helen Keller are all Cancerians who, at some point or other, might have been a bit upset and needed to lie down.

Cry us a river: It can be near comical to peruse a photo collage of Cancer women, as, more often than not, their expression suggests they might be on the verge of tears. Cancer females embody the cardinal-water assignation of their sign. They are fountains of feeling ruled by Mother Moon which, we know, controls the tides. These daughters of Phoebe and Selene are indeed one with their feels, which can make them wildly chaotic or oh-so touchingly histrionic. Little wonder they make the most emotionally accessible actresses. We cite the character of Cinderella as one of the Cancer woman archetypes. Like Cindy, Cancer lady is equal parts lamenting and hopeful, mirroring the expressions of the waxing and waning Moon. Indeed, she employs the power of wish-craft, floating her hopes toward the deliverance of desired results. The Cinderella myth is filled with nocturnal imagery—moon-powered elements—from pumpkins, which grow by night, and mice and rats, which are nocturnal. The woeful beauty of the Cancer woman can be captivating, inviting salvation, if not some savior prince/ss to trot up on a white charger or in a convertible white Cooper Mini. A list of pouty Cancer princesses includes Liv Tyler, Eva Green, Juno Temple, Shelley Duvall, Deborah Harry, Frances McDormand, Linda Cardellini, Kristen Bell, Diane Kruger, Clair Forlani, Phoebe Cates, Isabelle Adjani, Elizabeth McGovern, Meryl Streep, Princess Diana, Sandra Oh, Judy Greer, Melissa Rauch, Edie Falco, Stephanie Seymour, Selena Gomez, Linda Ronstadt, Ginger Rogers, Eva Marie Saint, Diana Rigg, Janet Leigh, Olivia De Havilland. Boo hoo.

Cancer woman is the embodiment of longing, the true nature of which provides insight into her personality. Think of longing as emotional outreach, an active and useful mechanism for scanning and searching life, the universe, all experience, for that for which one has true feeling. In this way, Cancer woman perpetually takes emotional action. She invented the term: putting out feelers. And we feel her, don’t we. Cancer women on the whole are not subtle creatures who hide their needs, indeed, their demands.

Think of her symbol crab. She flows with the current, which is to say the present, which does sometimes require being what might appear to be clingy. The fact is she must establish fixed experience for herself to counterbalance what is otherwise a life of being swept up in the moment, allowing herself to be fully accessible, circumstantially and emotionally. Accessing feeling is a hallmark of the Cancerian female, most poignantly expressed by the brand of actresses born under the sign.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Capricorn 1° (December 22)

The sign of Cancer is ruled by Mother Moon and it governs the fourth astrological house of, among other things, the female population. Cancer embraces a world view, that of existence, as female, a mother source needing our protection. It is distinguished as the cardinal (initiative) water sign of the zodiac—think of a literal bubbling spring or source of a river. Cancer women, by their nature, embody this energy, being fountains of feeling. Cancer men, meanwhile, tend to work on the emotions of others, especially women, to whom the male Moonchild appeals on the level of being the kind of guy a girl or fellow can take home to mother: A clean, well-scrubbed, if not eternally collegiate candidate for a reproductive and/or romantic partnership. Cancer Man doesn’t fancy himself the king that Leo does; he prefers to play a comfier, seemingly sidelong role akin to that of prince consort to some loving force-of-nature on whose emotional support he is kept aloft, swept-along, navigating his way toward a life of shared success. Cancerian Earnest Hemingway’s Jake Barnes is drawn in by the stronger female force of of Brett Ashley. It’s the same in same-sex relationships. Cancer man demurs in day-to-day decision making, only sweating the big stuff, letting a more domineering, but no less type-A, loved one feel s/he’s running the whole show, but it’s not always so. Faster than Kevin Bacon can drop his wife’s name into a sentence, Cancer guy will sidle in sideways, just like a crab, and assert his agenda, taking hold of situations with a vice-like tenacity you never saw coming. For your consideration: A list of uncalloused Cancer men who have mutually benefitted from having their oft sappy chick-flick selves appeal to a predominantly female, not to mention a more dominant-male, population: Tom Hanks, John Cusack, Harrison Ford, Tobey Maguire, Tom Cruise, Patrick Wilson, Daniel Radcliffe, Milo Ventimiglia, Benedict Cumberpatch, Topher Grace, Vin Diesel, David Hasselhoff, Robin Williams, Chris O’Donnell, Burt Ward, Chris Isaaks, Billy Crudup, Chace Crawford, Kevin Bacon, Josh Hartnett, George Michael, Justin Chambers, Michael Phelps, James Brolin, Jimmy Smits, Kris Kristofferson, Prince William.

Cancer men seem to foster support from the general populous, striking a chord and becoming synonymous with their field of interest. Orville Redenbocher. Richard Branson. Jesse Ventura. Michael Flatley. It’s amazing what some of these guys can be famous for. As, quicker than you can say David Hasselhoff, the sign of Cancer has a way of breeding those who capture public imagination and make bank on it Many a Cancerian man distinguishes himself as a single name who defines a whole area of expression—Hemingway, Rembrandt, Bullfinch. Forbes. And why? Because Cancerian men are narrowly focused on their field with a wide stance in their appeal. And as a bit of a side note: Whether or not you actually believe we went to the Moon, the fact remains that Cancer men often do end up looking a lot like the Man in it. You decide whether or not he might also be described as cheesy. Behold the bald and the beautiful Cancerian males who glow with a kindly condescension, a subtle superiority and a distant devotion. And beware the chrome-dome glare: Patrick Stewart, John Glenn, Yul Brynner, Jeffrey Tambor, Terrence Stamp, Larry David, Jesse Ventura, Montel Williams, Anthony Edwards, Donald Faison, Michael Jace, Vin Diesel, Gerald Ford, Kurtwood Smith, Forest Whitaker, Mel Brooks, Danny Glover, Mike Tyson, Zinedine Zidane, Dalai Lama, Anthony Edwards, Jackie Earle Haley, Dan Aykroyd, David Drake, Prince William and all the future folically challenged Canerian fellows.

Moonchild man lives in a private word, both real and imaginary, avoiding conflict or sometimes, even, anything more than vague interaction, at all costs. In the literal sense, he prefers solo work, which he can perform, set apart, ebbing and flowing to his own rhythm; and, figuratively, too, he must let his mind drift to imaginings of would-be scenarios he might ultimately realize. He appears the personification of hope and promise needing naught but cultivation to draw him out. Meanwhile, he accesses others sensitivity, appealing to their feelings as well as their funny bones, sensitivity and humor being hallmarks of his charm. One feels safe in the company of the Cancerian, that on this journey through life, he is happy to be a designated driver. He is so unassuming, or so it seems. The truth is he is one of the more deliberate and calculated characters on the astrological block, though rarely in an insidious sort of way. He simply believes in the fulfillment of his potential and he will get his hooks into situations, and people too, whom he considers to play a part in the unfolding of his destiny.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Sagittarius 30°

Gossip, girl: The Gemini gamine can gab if not babble like a bird on a wire. The mutable air sign of Gemini is concerned with pure, buzzy, etheric, information: what’s in the air. The sign’s ruler Mercury is named for the winged capped and footed god, its symbol recalling a pesky antennae’d insect, pulling info from the ether. Or perhaps they’re not antennae but the wing-tips of an angel, an agent of soaring divinity, such as Mercury, the messenger, is to his chief god, Zeus. So, if Gemini man, like Mercury, is a messenger, then Gemini woman is the message itself; and a mixed one at that. She often is the gossip, controversial, whether innocently or purposefully. Female counterpart to the god Mercury is winged Eris, goddess of discord. Arguably, she is a deity of information, the embodiment of the collective buzz, which is, by its very nature, discordant. Discord supposes, indeed incites duality, the principle energy of Gemini. Eris doesn’t just throw information out there, she plants ideas in others’ heads. So when she tossed an apple scrawled with the words “for the fairest of them all” into a chic party she caused a fracture and factions to form. Gemini can be a scandal; and a scream, a party girl, albeit a light-weight one—like tiny Tinker Bell getting blotto on a thimble of hooch. She’s sensitive, you see. Eris tossed the apple because she wasn’t invited to that party. Slighted, she caused outright Trojan War, the central figure being another prime Gemini archetype, Helen, the actual twin of Pollux, the divine so-called twin to mortal brother Castor—the two boys form the constellation of Gemini. Helen and Pollux hatched from a divine egg. Castor and Clytemnestra from a mortal egg. Their mother Leda must have lain with her husband before Zeus, as swan, had a go. So. Helen and Clytemnestra personify female Geminian duality. One passive, one not so much. Helen? A scandal! She was given to Paris by Aphrodite for choosing her most fair in his judgment—he was bribed—deal-making being endemic to this sign,. It is fromMercury that we get the word merchant. In our book, Sextrology, the Gemini women chapter is called The Gift. Of the gab, yes; but more than that: Gemini women always seem to possess such qualities, attributes or talents that could only be explained by way of divine endowment. They are exciting and challenging, enlivening and provocative, both, always equal parts a mixed bag of Mercury’s tricks; more perhaps, than one bargained for, something of a commotion, possessing a certain talent for winning every argument, sometimes by way of seeming insouciance. The likes of Joan Collins, Wallis Simpson, Angelina Jolie, Lauryn Hill, Kathleen Turner, Anne Heche, Michelle Phillips, Stevie Nicks, Melanie Brown, Joan Rivers, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Naomi Campbell, Heidi Klum, Anna Kournikova. Helena Bonham Carter, Zoe Saldana, Alanis Morissette, Pam Grier, Juliette Lewis, Gina Gershon, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are no strangers to controversy.

Gemini is ruled by winged Mercury, god of the crossroads. Being at a crossroads spells a difficult decision. After winged Eris lobs that apple into the divine party someone must decide who is the fairest. The Judgment of Paris sees that poor boy choosing Aphrodite who promised him Helen for the honor. Helen hooked up with Paris who was from the wrong side of the tracks. Fast forward to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet whose suitor, pre-Romeo, is likewise called Paris. The name Juliet translates to both “child of Jove”, a name for Jupiter, Greek: Zeus, and “downy” another nod to birds. Star-crossed and prone to love at first sight with someone from the wrong side of the crossroads, Juliet is a prime literary archetype of the Gemini woman in keeping with the sign’s rule of the human age of 14-21, a time when one first bites into the apple of temptation. Helen and Paris; Romeo and Juliet are forbidden fruit. This matches the biblical view of the zodiac as well. The first fiery sign Aries is akin to big-bang creation; Taurus to the lush green Eden and temptation; and Gemini, the twins, the Fall, duality, is the consequence of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Helen and Juliet are echoes of the prurient Eve; as is Nabokov’s Lolita who tempts duality incarnate in Humbert Humbert. And you thought it was just all an accident that Gemini women seem a ripe combination of guilelessness and game. This gamine of the Zodiac does tend to be gorgeous enough to launch a thousand cosmetic campaigns. And there is always some personal-fall sprinkled into her mix, often linked to her falling rather suddenly in love. Those Gemini birds just seem to be set on a quicker speed. Innocent as a rose—mind the thorns: Kate Upton, Amy Schumer, Adriana Lima, Isabella Rossellini, Bar Refaeli, Elizabeth Hurley, Brooke Shields, Angelina Jolie, Laverne Cox, Nicole Kidman, Rosalind Russell, Riley Keough, Lana Del Rey, Leah Remini, Molly Sims, Julianna Marguilies, Ginnifer Goodwin, Octavia Spencer, Courteney Cox, Helen Hunt, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Annette Bening, Kristin Scott Thomas, Laurie Metcalf, Lea Delaria, Autumn and Willow Shields, and that two-faced swan herself, Natalie Portman.

Often given a dubious wrap for being flighty, dificult or divisive, the opposite is (also?) true: Gemini woman is the one person in the Zodiac you’d want to have your back. She’s a tough and protective Tinker Bell, a fixer of ailing or broken utility, aimed at mending flailing situations and relationships and problem-solving in general. She is the proverbial mother hen on whom others come to rely and behind whom we must all fall in line. She is the best of the astrolgoical bunch in covering the basics, and all the bases there in, making sure the mechanics of her daily life function smoothly, if not too repetitively. In the end, most of us will admit, it is a most admirable quality. That said, she easily gets lost in causes which, when pressed, even she’d admit she cares little about. Getting stuck on autopilot as ringleader will occupy her with busy work, if not mountainous molehills, while she strives to focus on more long-term achievement.

Having her ducks in a row. And also wanting others to keep in line behind her. They like to organize in the strict sense of putting things together, but they delegate any upkeep. They like a good system.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Sagittarius 29° (December 21)

In our book Sextrology, Gemini man’s chapter is called The Goodfellow. Gemini and its third astrological house focus on immediate experience. Immediacy being what both closely surrounds us, spatially, and instantaneously, time-wise. The sign is ruled by Mercury, named for the god who can travel hither and thither in a flash, like his Shakespearean prototype Puck, who is messenger to Oberon the way Mercury (Greek: Hermes) is to Jupiter (Zeus). The third house also rules the teenage slice of life, age 14-21, defined as it is by our immediate family and close cronies, siblings and sibling-like relationships, which are the kind we have at that age, and rarely after—Gemini making an exception to that rule. He personifies that experience always, being eternally youthful like Puck (Robin Goodfellow) or Hermes or his fairytale incarnation, Peter Pan—wrestling with one’s shadow portrays eternal struggle with duality that the sign of the Twins expresses. In legend, we have Robin Hood, in comic books, Robin, the boy wonder. Gemini guys retain their teenage rat-pack mentality, “boon companions” coming under third-house rule. Robin of Sherwood was the first hood in his hood, if you will, doing his bit to balance the rich/poor duality—in essence, the world’s first Goodfella. In modern culture we see many Gemini entering the zeitgeist at a tender age, playing at being adults while forever remaining something of a juvenile in his antics. Bring on the boy wonders: Michael Cera, Paul Dano, Neil Patrick Harris, Jamie Oliver, Macklemore, Boy George, Rafael Nadal, Jake Short, Dominic Cooper, Justin Long, Kanye West, Cameron Boyce, Troye Sivan, Mark Walhberg, Dave Franco, Shia LeBeouf, Hugh Dancy, T.J. Miller, Michael J. Fox, Mike Meyers, Noah Wylie, Irving Thalberg, Tupak Shakur, Gene Wilder, Gary Burghoff, Johnny Depp, Allen Ginsberg, Lenny Kravitz, John F. Kennedy.

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, named for the scrappy god of the crossroads. Literally, or just in their hearts, Gemini guys are street-wise garçcons de la rue: poets, troubadours, urchins, scamps, tricksters and jugglers, if just of the truth, dual by nature, dualistic by design. They are artful dodgers, fast-talking champions of the common man. There is a bit of Robin Hood in every Gemini hood in the hood, just as there is that of Robin Goodfellow, Shakespeare’s Puck, and Peter Pan, all fairy versions of winged Mercury, the magician and messenger god who, like Peter and Puck, never ages past adolescence. Duality in all its forms, but knowledge, especially, of mortality and immortality, is the theme of the Gemini male psyche. The tale of the male “twins” of Gemini, Castor and Pollux (actually quadruplets who hatched from separate eggs with twin sisters, fathered by Zeus in the guise of a Swan) is hinged on their mortal/deific dialectic. Birds and wings symbolize the divine side of the human condition, which we all possess. Gemini man tends to express his own via flights of fancy and the proliferation of ideas, poetry, music, writing, or whatever magical or Machiavellian maneuvers with which he seeks to make an lasting mark on the world. He tends to pack a wallop with his words, Mercury (Logos) being god of communication. And many a Gemini actor has played into his airy, pirate archetype. Think Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow, Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood or Captain Blood, Douglas Fairbank’s Robin Hood or Thief of Bagdad, James Purfoy’s Blackbeard, Jason Isaac’s Captain Hook, Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa. And then there are just the roguish, anti-hero stylings of Colin Farrell, Tupac Shakur, Stellan Skarsgard, Dominic Cooper, Paul Bettany, Peter Dinklage, Hugh Laurie, Malcolm McDowell, Joseph Fiennes, Russell Brand, Rupert Everett, Morrissey, Bob Dylan, Liam Neeson and Ice Cube

Gemini is always striking some kind of bargain, internal negotiating opposing forces, and outwardly exacting the next deal to further his direction. In a way his is a tricky head to be in; and yet there is very little the Gemini doesn’t do mindfully, being less prone than most to unconscious motivations, compulsions, and the like. He’s self-aware, to a fault, putting on dazzle and otherwise aimed at keeping spirits bright—even if knowingly faking it. He is, however, no means instrospective by nature, and must work harder than most in the understanding of an inner life. Instead he keeps himself occupied with to-dos and shiny objects, cutting a path through life like an arful dodger snaking his way through a crowded avenue, reveling in covert action and lendergemain. He is nervy and (he mightn’t admit it) rather fearful of the answers to life’s big questions. Gemini loves the world of the living, gravitating toward social hubs of activities, where a vibrant demonstration of life can distract him from an signature underlying loneliness. He doesn’t like to feel things because he does so too deeply for his delicate nerves.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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sagittarius 28° (December 20)

The fixed-earth sign of Taurus is vividly portrayed by a garden, Eden. And Taurus people draw on archetypes the of nymphs and flower gods, who personify innocence and invitation—Taurus is ruled by Venus, the planetary principle of attraction. The sign’s signature color is green, signifying both innocence and envy. Taurus girl is the eternal goddess in maiden form. We know what temptation Eve invited. Likewise, the tale of Snow White is a retelling of the myth of Io, a nymph punished by queen Hera for giving into her hubby Zeus’s seduction—Hera turned Io into a snow-white heifer. Silly cow. Hera is famed for taking the form of a crone who hands out poison apples just like Snow White’s wicked queen, who is vainly obsessed with youth and beauty. Venus’ symbol—a circle atop a crossed staff—is called the mirror of Aphrodite; and the planet’s rule, here, on the earth plane of Taurus, makes physical beauty, and green-eyed envy, a preoccupation. Io and Hera are two sides of the same coin, the former representing the naiveté of the latter’s mature womanhood. Really, Hera tries to teach Io a lesson about female power, which Hera deifies. And many a Taurus woman will tell you that this is a central theme for them. Taurus tends to make an impact in her early life, being prized for latent talents and inherent charms. Adult life can be an ongoing catch-up lesson in taking her own assets by the horns, something at which she may ultimately overachieve. Indeed, her biggest challenge is in not being objectified, resisting the urge to let domineering figures steer her stars in exchange for creature Taurean comforts, ease and luxury. Passivity can be her pitfall, as can becoming somebody’s cash cow. Here some earthy Taurus nymphets who peaked young and piqued interest with early promise of potential: Ellie Kemper, Megan Fox, Kristen Dunst, Sandra Dee, Kelly Clarkson, Sofia Coppola, Jessica Alba, Lily Allen, Lily Cole, Jessica Stam, Ann-Margret, Yvonne Craig, Uma Thurman, Janet Jackson, Adele, Barbra Streisand, Shirley Temple, Valerie Bertinelli, Harper Lee and Charlotte Bronte whose heroine Jane Eyre is a namesake of Hera or Eire (Ireland) the emerald green isle where the goddess grew dem apples.

Venus governs Taurus on the earth plane (and Libra on the astral one). The Venus symbol is emblematic of the Feminine Principle. The planet’s namesake goddess of grace and beauty works her charms through Taurus, and on its people, in a physical, tangible, often monetary way. Indeed, Taurus woman is the original material girl. Though she may learn early in life that an urgent, myopic focus on possessions can blind her to more eternal bounty. Still, it’s no bull that Taureans tend to be attractive in a fresh and earthy, if not oomphy, way. The women are natural beauties, barefoot contessas and, sometimes self-professed geishas who fetishize their burgeoning femininity. Consider the luscious delights of Bianca Jagger, Penelope Cruz, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba, Bettie Page, Laetitia Casta, Megan Fox, James King, Diana Agron, Christina Hendricks, Audrey Hepburn, Margot Fonteyne and Nancy Kwan. Oh, yes, Taurus enjoys being a girl; and when she inevitably loses her innocent bloom and no longer likes what the two-faced mirror-mirror reflects, she is most prone to see this as a red flag to charge into some cosmetic surgeon’s office. Case in point: Renee Zellwegger, Cher, Kimora Lee Simmons, Tori Spelling, Christine Baranski, Janet Jackson, Donatella Versace, Carol Burnett, Barbra Streisand, Pia Zadora, Michele Pfeifer, Shirley MacLaine, Melissa Gilbert and Bea Arthur, who televised her face lift in on “Maude”. There is also Eva Perone and the aptly named Blossom Dearie.

Taurus women come with a checklist of things they need to achieve and aquire, and they work it till they’ve ticked off each and every item and then some. This modus operandi provides them security, or at least the sense that they I securing it for themselves. They are sensual creatures with a natural innocence, even when batting their cow eyes at you. Think of them like shutters of a camera, taking in and recording, from every angle, what the abundant world of possibility, or you yourself, might have to offer them. They are efficiency experts, loath to waste precious time—to them a true commodity—on people, places and things not worth their salt. They embody the notion that life should be carefree, doing all in their power cultivate a safe enclosure for themselves against the savagery of society. They see people, places and things in terms of value, investing interest, even the loving kind, only when confident of a solid return; the face varieety of value being deceiving, they can be duped by appearances and overemphasis external trappings, which ultimately leave them wanting. Happy is the Taurus who

She is born under the archetype of the naive earth nymphs such as Io, who took the form of a snow-white heifer—fairy tales’ Snow White is innocence incarnate. Their myths center on resiliance, the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt typecast with a Taurus actress.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Sagittarius 27° (December 19)

Had rehearsal in a part of Brooklyn to which I have never gone before and wouldn’t rush to go ahead I’m afraid. I’m always struck by how ugly certain areas of New York City can be. How grey and depressing and void of trees or any kind of charm. We did have a lovely rehearsal though and it was good to see the band. Stella and I returned to the hotle and had something snacky. She was going to meet an old friend for dinner and decided to have it in the hotel. I had a little wine and then headed over to see Amber Martin’s “Reba’s C*untry Christmas” show at the Stonewall, as Patrick was in it. This person called Xavier who once attacked me and Penny Arcade on social media was there; I tried to be the bigger person and introduced myself and extended my hand which he refused to shake. We the ones who aren’t the perps are often the ones to extend olive branches wrapped around peace pipes. I had already sent my so-called nemesis, who was also in the show, a quick text heads-up to let him know I’d be there. I know what it’s like to perform and to see someone in the audience you might be uncomfortable glaring back, but I didn’t hear back and he probably didn’t care or turned it around on me. It doesn’t much matter. I take responsibility for having rubbed people the wrong way. But we Libras tend to do that because we can be brutally honest and we do tend to have great expectations of (read: become heavily disappointed by) others. Ghandi is a Libra. And he surely rubbed people the wrong way. Nothing wrong with that kind of friction. Anyway saw some people I liked but realized some other in the performance community were also snubbing me and I thought, ah-ha, the poison had really set in. I don’t mind. I needed to make some more room for new friends on FB, for instance, so I returned home to happily block a few of the obvious haters. After having reconnected with Stella and her friend and a client who were all gathered together in the hotel bar having a night cap. Made it an early one since we had to perform the next day.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox